Sad Songs & Whiskey

by Phil Hummer & The White Falcons

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1.
Switchblade Knife written by Phil Hummer they put me in the jailhouse for fighting fighting with my wife they let me out in the morning but they kept my switchblade knife it was just a little bitty scuffle between a man and his wife you shouldn't ought to put me in the can and you shouldn't ought to steal my knife copper can you hear me calling man i carried that blade half my life that pretty pearly handle's gonna burn your hand thats my switchblade knife i bet you got it down in your sock just in case your situation gets tight believe me i understand cause thats my switchblade knife copper can you hear me calling man i carried that blade half my life that pretty pearly handle's gonna burn your hand thats my switchblade knife
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Modern Day Girl written by Phil Hummer the girls around here they don't see me they just see my country clothes but theres one that i'm sure god made for me i've just got to let her know i've got an old fashioned love for a modern day girl she's a modern girl in modern world what has this old fashioned boy got to do to win the love of a girl like you i saw you standing on the corner you looked so lovely and fine i said don't judge a book by the cover i intend to make you mine i've got an old fashioned love for a modern day girl she's a modern girl in modern world what has this old fashioned boy got to do to win the love of a girl like you
4.
Pretty Kitty 01:35
Pretty Kitty written by Phil Hummer i've got a pretty kitty she's a real snatch scratcher she came from her mama's pussy cat she's a buck tooth beaver and a back door heaver and she pees in my stetson hat she's got a diamond collar so i chain her to the bedpost in case she tries to run away since she can't go strayin she enjoys playing with big balls as i swing them to and frey she's got some dirty whiskers cause she's always in the creamer the gravy boat makes her slippery if that thing gets wrinkled i just take out my steamer and hose her fur liberally her paws go pitter patter as i set down seaman's platter and she concentrates on her meal i give her love and affection and built a scratching post erection she attacks that thing with zeal i've got a pretty kitty she's a real snatch scratcher she came from her mama's pussy cat she's a buck tooth beaver and a back door heaver and she pees in my stetson hat
5.
Toward 02:08
Toward written by Phil Hummer something's going wrong inside my mind i can't leave my troubled ways behind i keep getting them cuffs on tight and sitting in the jail house all damn night lord guide me towards the light there is something besides the alcohol driving me on some kind of sick stark sadness is pushing me along i feel it rising off the street from footprints of a million feet lord guide me towards thy kingdom sweet i feel that i'm reacting to science and man i don't feel like i'm fitting in with mother nature's plan i heard a little bird singing up there on the pole he's singing lord guide me towards being whole i've been feeling long gone from the faces that i've seen a million hungry eyes are burning holes inside of me i wish i was a fish swimming out there on the tide singing lord guide me towards thy side
6.
No Matter What I do written by Phil Hummer i had a dream that you were on my side i had a dream that love could turn the tide i've been looking over my shoulder you were right behind no matter what i do i can't get you off my mind sleeping by the window don't seem to ease the pain listening to the fireflies they're whispering your name nothing is for certain except its hurting all the time no matter what i do i can't get you off my mind i'm gonna dig a hole so dark and deep i'm gonna jump right in i'm gonna go to sleep when i close my eyes your face i'll find no matter what i do i can't get you off my mind i had a dream that you were on my side i had a dream that love could turn the tide i've been looking over my shoulder you were right behind no matter what i do i can't get you off my mind
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Looney Tune 01:39
Looney Tune written by Phil Hummer popeye loved his spinach and he loved his olive oil and they loved there pretty little sweet pea that sprouted out of the soil then along one day came brutus and he tried to put them down but popeye was a sailor man so they sailed to another town under dog was a beagle and he loved to pop them pills and he loved his pretty little polly and they lived in the hollywood hills their room mates name was porky he was a handsome pig but he had him a specch impediment so he never did make it big their landlord was a rooster named foghorn leghorn he kept his feathers numbered from the day that he was born they went out to the desert to eat some peyote and they saw a giant ostrich getting chased by a coyote they all sat down to dinner and when the bill did come their way they said i'll gladly pay you tuesday for a hamburger today aint this a loony tune when you're filled up with doom and gloom sing you a looney tune
9.
Chocolate Easter Bunny written by Phil Hummer hello my name is chocolate easter bunny i'm handsome but i'm hollow deep inside you bit off both my ears and licked away my tears you ate my lucky foot and i died hello my name is samsonite luggage you took me to california for awhile you filled me full of junk and you rode me in the trunk now you're trying to tell me I'm out of style i'm just a candle living in an electric world you won't see me shine when the lights are on but when the power goes you're gonna see me glow and you'll be sorry you ignored me for so long hello my name is zenith tv antenna i'm up here on the roof from days gone by i'm receiving from above but i was wrongfully unplugged now i can't relay my message although i try i'm just a candle living in an electric world you won't see me shine when the lights are on you could take me on a romantic date or put me on top of someones cake make a wish blow me out and i'll be gone
10.
Some Folks 02:17
Some Folks written by Phil Hummer i'm gonna walk across the street i'm gonna exercise my feet i'm gonna step right up to your door i'm gonna rap tap tap until you open up and ask you why don't you come around no more and also why don't you love me are you thinking of me do you remember my name and furthermore why do some folks have to change when some folks have to stay just the same i used to carry all your books i used to give you longing looks i used to for you after school now i see you walking with some other jim dandy and i feel like a fool i want to know why don't you love me and are you thinking of me and do you remember my name and also why do some folks have to change when some folks stay the same
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Alki Boy Blues written by Phil Hummer yesterday is over today has begun tomorrow ain't worth nothing cause it never comes nobody loves me nobody cares I'm gonna get my straight razor and cut off all my hair no ones gonna know me with my bald shiny head so i put on my nightshirt and climb into bed I'm gonna wake up in the morning i shall be a changed man i'm gonna need a bottle of whiskey to remember who i am then i put on my guitar and i'm singing for the man i'm gonna get all unruly and get thrown in the can i'm back in the lockup i'm back out on the line swinging my hammer i'm doing my time i'm building my muscles on three squares a day i'm a bad motherfucker so you get out of my way they let me out a little but early my behavior it was good when the whiskey aint in me i'm doing like i should but the cycle starts over when I'm back out on the street and i climb inside every bottle that i meet so goes the story i'm just like my dad just another little alki boy born to be sad
13.
Crutch 02:00
Crutch written by Phil Hummer did you ever love someone so much you turned their love into a crutch and leaned upon it a little too hard until it cracked and broke apart thats how it was who knows what it will be now it is what it is did you ever lay down beside someone and feel them burn you like the sun because their love was true and pure and yours was blue and insecure thats how it was who knows what it will be now it is what it is i loved you then as i love you now the future is in the past somehow beyond the shifting sands of time i see your face and claim it mine
14.
Darlin Are You Alright theres a street light at the end of my block it shines through the treetops onto my bed and it shines like a beacon to lost ships in the night and i'm wondering darlin are you alright i don't know if you're out in some bar room or curled safe in somebody's arms are you walking alone in the moon light i wonder darlin are you alright theres a soft breeze coming in through the window and it's whispering your name in my head and it's dancing around with the curtains of white and i wonder darken are you alright i don't know if you're out in some bar room or curled safe in somebody's arms are you walking alone in the moon light i'm wondering are you alright

credits

released August 8, 2008

All Songs Written by Phil Hummer
c.p. House of Hummer BMI
Phil Hummer: vocals, guitar
Crystal "Bang Bang" Pistol: snare
Ray Doll Hummer: doghouse, vocals

Recorded at Fry Pharmacy Studios, Old Hickory, TN

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Phil Hummer Nashville, Tennessee

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